If you’re a REALTOR®, you know that showing empathy is critical to building a trusting relationship with clients or potential clients. Empathy isn’t only demonstrated in what you say, though. It is also demonstrated in what you do.

To talk about how body language can help REALTORS® build trust with clients, Pamela Barnum, a non-verbal communication expert, trust strategist, and former undercover police officer, joined TRREB Chief Market Analyst Jason Mercer for a recent episode of Ready to Real Estate.

Four ways to show empathy through body language

Making eye contact and smiling are two common ways that people demonstrate empathy in conversation with others. But how much do you know about using open body language or mirroring to strengthen a relationship?

Open body language

Lean in! Leaning towards people, rather than away from them, shows that you’re interested in what they have to say.

On the other hand, crossing your arms or legs during a conversation might make you appear closed off. The other person might wonder if you’re no longer as receptive or open to what is being said.

Mirroring

“Mirroring” describes what people do with their bodies when they’re having an empathetic conversation or agree with one another. They will begin to mimic each other’s posture and gestures. Normally subconscious, using mirroring as a conscious technique is an effective way to establish rapport, by slowly and subtly mimicking the movements of the other person.

You can also use mirroring to check whether rapport has been established. Shift your own posture, and if the other person copies your movement within 30 to 45 seconds, they may now be receptive and ready to have more serious conversations.

What to Watch in a Client’s Body Language

Small talk can help you set a communication baseline with clients so that you understand how they communicate when they’re comfortable. Any deviations from that baseline may signal that clients are uncomfortable or losing interest.

More generally, notice if they stop smiling and making eye contact, or display closed off body language, for instance, crossing their arms. Are they starting to turn their torso away from you, even if their face remains towards you? Are their feet pointing towards the door, or are they leaning towards the exit? 

Pay attention not only to what your clients are saying, but also to what they’re doing. And shift your own strategy and communication style if you notice you’re out of sync.

Check out Jason and Pamela’s full conversation about “the secret second language” of non-verbal communication on this episode of Ready to Real Estate.